It has been many moons since I have gone Trick or Treating. I can't even remember the last time that I actually went and asked strangers for candy. It must have been in high school when my mates and I were trying to be ironic before we even knew what "ironic" was. I mean, that's how cool we were.
Also, I haven't gone candy hunting because of this, mostly:
Minus my infinite sadness, I do remember going out and begging for free candy as a small child. I kind of felt weird about. I mean, I liked candy but I always had way more gross candy than awesome candy. I've never been big on sweets except for chocolate. Most candy was way too sweet for my young palette.
I would always eat all my chocolate stuff first. I would actually hide candy from my wench of a step mother because she would take all our good stuff, get high with her stupid sister's and then eat it in front of us. I mean who does that?
I remember a few times we actually got pennies. PENNIES. The hell can you get a for a penny? It was the 80s and capitalism was in full swing. It wasn't the 50s when a soda pop at the fountain shop cost a nickle and a dollar could get you to Santa Fe. Get out of here with that.
Some other gems that we got were the following:
The young germaphobe in me was displeased that some stranger's hand shaped these. The ageless adventurer in my soul ate it anyway because popcorn is awesome. I may have cried when my step mom took them away from me. I mean, I was already half way through it and I wasn't dying and we knew where the person lived so w/e.
I also remember eating these just to see if there were razor blades in them. I was an 8 year old with a death wish. You trying being gay and raised in a Roman Catholic, Mexican household and come out normal.
There is no candy that I hate more than candy corn. WTF is this shit? It's not even corn. At all. I LOVE corn. This just tastes like a toothache and always made my tum tum hurt. It tasted like how my nana's house smelled. No thanks.
Now that I am done ranting about something so innocuous as candy, it's your turn. Yay! Feel free to tell me about Halloween candies you hate. If you don't celebrate Halloween (plz leave now JKJK), is there a candy that displeases you greatly? Let me know in the comments!
What's the worst Halloween treat you've ever gotten?