SPOILER ALERT: Santa isn't real!
Hedgy Claws, however, is real. Believe in the power of the hedgie.
We are all adults here, right? For the most part, I like to think that we all are. You all think and stuff and I am pretty sure the above spoiler alert isn't news to anyone. Santa, like a lot of things in my youth, was a lie. You know, just like how mommy and daddy were going to get back together was supposed to happen after they had vacation from each other. WELL IT DIDN'T & NOW I'M DEAD INSIDE. JK!
Look at those pre-shoes wearing clothes! They think they're people!
When I was a small child with very grown up problems, my eldest sister and cousin decided to let us kids in on a secret of reality shattering proportions. That secret was that Santa Claus wasn't real. The truth was that our parents hid our presents in my mee maw's closet. No wonder why my prezzies smelled like Ben Gay and Werther's Originals.
Was Satan up to some general tomfoolery? Who knew?!
I actually thought that this was a test, to see if I actually believed in Santa. I felt this way until I was about 12. After that, my family fell apart and no one cared about anything anymore so we didn't really do Christmas-y junk for the longest. It's not as sad as it seems, at least to me anyway. I recall this tale in a very tongue and cheek way because it's all really rather ridiculous LIKE MY LIFE.
Anyway, when did you stop believing in Father Christmas?
OMG DID I RUIN EVERYTHING FOR YOU? I'M SORRY PLZ DON'T H8 ME. :(