El Rich's Blog

For all of us that worship at the church of Arrested Development, this Sunday can't come any sooner. Praise be to Netflix, which heard the cries of the show's cult following and resurrected the once dead series that was killed off before it's time in what seems like a miracle of sorts.

As we anxiously await for this zombie of a show to feast on our collective funny bone, the fine folks over at Netflix have been releasing trailers for the 15 hours of what looks to be the continuation of this series rather than a rehash.

Anymews, let's talk about why we're really here.

Whomever the Arrested Development Marketing Person In Charge of Getting Us Excited For Things is, we applaud. Thank you for taking the Bluth's Banana Stand on a tour of sorts.

~ Not really but still ~

It started somewhere far away, in a place that I don't care about because it wasn't anywhere near me. IDK it was in Europe or something. Then, it was all the way on the east coast but I was still kind of whatever about it because that's pretty far from me. I mean, I can't even hitch a ride with Gob there. 

Yesterday, the Banana Stand was near where I work so I pretended I was sick to go see it and well now I'll probably lose my job but whatever, IT WAS WORTH IT.

Behold! Bluth's Banana Stand!

Here's the line and stuff and some guy passing out things

And those things were -

Sara's getting fired, too.

We were supposed to get chocolate covered bananas but they ran out and Sara started to wreck stuff:

But then she was all LOL JK GUISE LOVE YA MEAN IT

And she made them say things:

And then everyone was happy

And I got a poster

And then I went home to look for a job. That's all! 

Are you excited for the return of Arrested Development?

YOU GUISE: Is it even prom anymore? Is that still happening? I can't even really remember my prom because it was dumb and I didn't want to go but my dad made me. It's kind of weird because I like, paid money to go stand somewhere and feel awkward. That theme continues to this day.

Anyway, the fine folks over at the Buzznet Storytellers Group are throwing a Buzz Prom:

Here is Goose Girl and her friends lookin all snazzy ^ Yay! If you haven't contributed to this week's story, get on it! We want your prom stories!

My prom was weird. I'm pretty sure that I've talked about it before but this is pretty much how it happened:

I was the first one to have my license in high school. My dad let me borrow the car. That meant that I had to pick up all my franz and take their asses to prom. We thought we looked like this when we were driving around in our tuxes:

But really we were more like:

But whatever, it's all about the adventure, right? Not really.

Me getting out of the car:

So whatever, we get to the place where the prom was. And let me tell you, it was far.

We thought it was going to look like this:

because our school was all "O u guise are going to be partying in OPULENCE for the evening" but then really it was more like:

I mean, don't tell us that we will be living it up at the Ritz and then come at us with some Brokedown Palace. Just. No.

So we go inside. Mind you, none of us knew how to dance and no one liked us so we were in a dark corner trying to be silly. I totally thought I was breaking it the F down:

But really I was just:

And my friends were just pretty much doing this:

Because we only let loose in back yard parties where bands were playing

Pretty much everyone just looked at like this:

and I guess we were just being wild and out of control, because that's what we did.

Anyway, all that dancing makes you thirsty and you're all "Well let's all go get some bebidas because we paid for this party amirite?"

And you think you're going to get some fancy ass punch from a crystal bowl and stuff:

And pretty much you get to the refreshments table and it's all:

And they're all YOU CAN GET ONE SO DON't GET GREEDY and you're all

Oh and they tell you to have some food. THE FOOD. I mean you really want

But you get this:

By this point, we are all dehydrated, hungry, and listening to music that we can't really stand so we decide to go. I think we went to have In N Out and we played a bunch of NOFX on the way home and went to an arcade. Which was way more fun than the entire prom. Oh and that was after I dropped my date off at her boyfriends house.

Girl out my daddy's car! Bye!

Hope your prom was better than mine! TTFN! Happy Prom or whatever. <3, r

How was your prom?

If there has ever been a day where posting this GIF has ever been more appropriate, today would be that day:

JSYK, I totally go here.

Today, if you didn't know (because I didn't - thanks Twitter), is International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia. Yay! Let's have a chat.

I suppose I should start this off by saying that I live in a bubble. I have an amazing family that accepts all my out of control antics and a group of friends that pretty much make me feel all types of feels because they are so open and rad.

I NEED A BUCKET FOR ALL MY CREYS

For as long as I could remember, I always knew that I was a special snowflake. I probably don't need to get into my Tale of Fabulousness because I am sure a lot of you have probably had it with me yelling from the rooftops about my special brand of homo-ness. Not that it's special or anything, I just like talking about it because for a long time, I never really did. I was kind of like this:

Me? Gay? IDEK what you're talking about!

Even in my small span of living, things have changed rather drastically and it's kind of amazing. Gays can get married in some states and we can even be in the military and there are PARADES. The sad thing about all of this, because I always have something sad to say about everything, is that people are still chastized for being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex, so on and so forth.

I don't really know why that's a thing. I kind of feel like this about all of that:

You need to ^

Anyway, since today is all about being nice and stuff, here are some helpful hints on how to be nice to people:

Keep an open mind 

Look. No one is asking you to march in a Pride Parade (but you should because it's FUN and people will call you papi or maybe that was just for me). We just want to be treated with respect. We want to be treated like people because you know, that's what all of us are.

Be there for someone when they need you

Maybe someone just told you something about them. This means they trust you. All they want is your support, so be the friend we know you are and be there for them.

Don't "out" anyone, ever

People will come out on their own terms. Since this is something they need to do on their own, please don't give them any help. Also, it's not cute to spill other people's tea! Don't be shady!

Stand up for your friends

I know it's hard to tell people to STFU but sometimes you have to, especially when they are being awful and bigot-y.

And maybe you can't deal

That's fine. You just need go and remember that this is now

If you don't want to deal with someone that has just bared their soul to you, tell them. It's going to hurt but still, be an adult and just

Just remember, don't go spillin the tea. Be an adult about it and mind your own business.

I kind of feel like these are things we should all keep in mind when dealing with other people. We need to all just get over this, bake ourselves a cake, and share our feels with each other. Oh and be nice to each other, no matter what.

<3, R

As you all probably know, we here at Berznert love music. Why? Simply stated, #MusicRules! It is the soundtrack of our lives and basically any cliche that you might dial right now would totally ring true. Whenever I am feeling like a sack of potatoes, I'll turn on some music and feel less potato-y. Music kind of saves me. You could say that music is my superhero.

I kind of need this in my life

As I trolled about the internet and listened to sad song, I happened upon a tweet from one of my favorite blogs, io9. They mostly have things there are relevant to my interests, like the images in this blog that com from the skilled hands of Butcher Billy. Take a peek!

Ian Curtis

Siouxsie <3

Head In the Door for sure

These are so rad! I'm pretty sure I'm going to buy the Moz shirt because that needs to brighten up my all black t shirts. Make sure you check out Butcher Billy's site for more awesomeness and a whole bunch of super heros that I didn't include in this post because you need to check it out on your own. GO!

What do you all think?

It's not that I am into Star Trek so much, it's just that I don't have a lot to write about today and I am using this as an example.

Noo assimilation!

I remember the Borg the most because that's when I started to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. My cousin was like, REALLY into it. He had little figurines of all the Star Trek characters set up in his room like a shrine and it was creepy. Whatever. That was a long time ago and I've been watching the series on Netflix because I couldn't deal with Quantum Leap.

I had to stop. I mean Al is a hologram but he SLEEPS. What. No.

Back to Star Trek. I guess there is a new movie coming out and it has that one dude in it from that one show and everyone is all OMG IT'S GOING TO RULE.

O rly now

Well, the two things that I read the most (Wired & io9) have said that the film is all kinds of awful and not living up to the hype. I don't really care because I probably wasn't going to watch the new Star Trek unless it magically showed up on Netflix in the next 5 minutes.

I am, however, super into these two trailers and if they get bad reviews, I will be sad:

Gravity - Because space can be awesome and then turn into NIGHTMARES really quickly

Europa - Yay for finding life on the icy moon of Jupiter and then EVERYTHING GOES WRONG

And now we are getting to the point where I get to the point.

Sometimes I get really excited about stuff and then I need it in my life. This happens a lot. I've been trying to get a grip on that but also I kind of just let it happen because it makes me feel ALIVE.

Gene Parmesan! I knew it was you!

The thing about that is that I if I hear anything bad about the new thing that I am flipping out over, my bubble bursts and then I cease to be excite.

For you, I want to know what the last thing was that got you all a flutter. Tell us what you were excited for and if you stayed excited for it or didn't. Do go on!

What was the last thing you were excited for?

Sometimes I don't know what to do with the internet. There is so much going on with it all the time that it can become very overwhelming rather quickly. I like to think that this is why I am very into cats. It's like when you start to do a thing and then that thing snowballs into something else and all of the sudden you are all:

OMG

Art is kind of like this, too. Well, at least for me. Often times, I want to express myself but I don't really have the tools to do so. I usually just end up sitting on the floor, surrounded by left handed scissors and glitter, doing this:

Once I get up from the nest of glitter angels that I have made whilst crying in the fetal position, I circle back to the internet in defeat. I look for inspiration and "how to" videos on YouTube but GDI, I will never be half as good as the worst.

In my realization that the only thing I am fit to creat is failure, I start to make Blingee Art. If you don't know what that is, let me tell you. I am too ashamed in my lack of art making to share my Blingees. Instead, I have decided to share with you an assortment of said medium. Oh and celebrities. I AM TRYING TO CONNECT WITH YOU. Anyway, let's take a gander at the world that is Le Arte d'Blingee:

Because no one loves Demi more than you:

Your love means more when it's solidified with glittery everything

Nothing makes the Devil's horns look better than flashing hearts & Miley Montana or w/e her name is

Commander In Cute, amirite?

Shoot that poison arrow straight to my heart

Happiness In Glitter-ies

The Saddest Blingee Ever

You knew this was coming

On Wednesdays we wear pink!

It's like Christmas

She even has the same face in Blingee Art

And then there's this

And then I leave you with the best thing ever

And scene.

That's all I have. Please enjoy these works of art that look like Lisa Frank threw up all over your favorite people. Bye!

Howdy Buzznet!

Today as I internet, I seem to notice that not much is happeining (YET). I do, however, think that something awesome happened a while back and mostly that thing is this hash tag: #FitchTheHomeless

Let me explain -

Remember when Charlie Sophia posted this?

Turns out that people got mad and then someone decided to do something about it. That person is Greg Karber. Greg has decided to rebrand A & F and he needs your help. He needs you to donate all your A & F clothes to your local homeless shelter. It's pretty awesome.

Since this whole debacle has now turned into something positive and stuff, let's talk about doing things for other people. Maybe you haven't done anything for anyone else for a while. That's okay. Maybe this will inspire you to give back in any way that you can. Maybe you gave someone some of your candy or you let someone get some cake before you did. Maybe you gave yourself some chips.

Anyway, tell us about the last thing you did for someone else. It's time for a feel good party. Or chips. Mostly chips.

What was the last thing you did for someone else?

Sometimes in life, many lemons are given to you. It's not that lemons are bad, they are just sour and tart and maybe that's why that saying "When life gives you lemons" has said fruit in it. IDK. I can't really think of anything bad about lemons. I mean, there's lemonade and lemon bars and pretty much lemons are great.

Unacceptable!

Anymews, let's say that you are having not the best of days and life gives you an old shoe full of rocks. What do you do with it to make it fun? Basically, what I am asking is how do you make yourself feel awesome after life makes you feel not awesome?

Do you come to Buzznet and look mewsagges?

Maybe puppehs?

IDK IDK

What cheers you up?

Is it spring where you all are? I know some of you live in places where the seasons aren't the same as my seasons, so I'm sorry. You can put me in here now:

Since I am kind of not young or anything, here is an old song from when I was tiny about what we are going to talk about today:

LoL this song

Also, here in Los Angeles, the seasons basically go:

Oh hey it's cold for a little bit

And then OMG it's a furnace everywhere

I mean, we live in a desert so it makes sense but still

While we are "technically" still in spring times, let's talk about spring stuff. Mostly spring is like, when the animal kingdom is giving birth to new puppies and mews and everything is awesome. For this Q, I need you to tell me what you love about this time of year. Is it a person? Did you discover a new band? New food? Tell me stuff!

What's your spring love right now?

Happy Friday, internet! Happy Friday indeed. This week has been really weird in that I have not had to work my other job and so I have been riding my bike a bunch and sleeping. I'm catching up on RuPaul's Drag Race and having max walk/cuddle shesh Moo times.

┌(・。・)┘♪└(・。・)┐♪┌(・。・)┘

I guess this week has made me realize that I just need to stop doing certain things because those things aren't really the best things for me to be doing. I'm being cryptic! But really, when you are tired of doing things, you really should just stop. I was tired of working two jobs. I hated being tired all the time and it was just, I couldn't do it anymore.

Also, my being cryptic isn't referring to this, either ^

I've never been the biggest fan of drugs. When you grow up around them, they just seem kind of "whatever." I'm not going to lie because there have been nights when things happened but that was like, a long time ago and never really turned into a problem. IDK. I was an adult and I said NO THANKS, Mr. The Dealer.

~ Nope ~

Anyway, let's talk about things we are fed up with. Is it a people? Are you tired of a class? Tired of taking notes? Is there something in your life that is stealing your soul that you want to talk about? Feel free to tell us and then I will give you hugs if you need them. Go!

What are you tired of doing?